FISH

Golf etiquette states that if you only have two people and the club wants to pair you up with someone then you do it with a smile. Most of the time, hell 90% of the time I’m glad to be a team player and spoil a good walk with a complete stranger. I actually look forward to it sometimes, because truth be told you meet some interesting folks with great stories - both golf and life stories, it can really be a great part of the game.

But on occasion you get stuck with a real stiff. Somebody who’s so uptight that by the third hole you’re thinking to yourself - “If this guy hits into the woods, I’m gonna follow him with my 9 iron and….”. See what I’m saying, I know you’ve been there before.

I was playing at Mount Snow two summers ago when me and my buddy Butch got paired up with a couple of Yups from the Gold Coast of CT. Not bad guys to start, very old money sounding chaps. One was a scratch golfer the other about a 15 Handicap. Well Mr. 15 handicap thought himself somewhat of a pro and insisted on giving everyone free tips. “Move the ball up in your stance - point your forward shoulder towards the target” etc…. Well by the 4th hole, I had pretty much had with captain Tip ‘O the Day, so I said - “Hey here’s an idea why don’t you worry about your game and I’ll worry about mine”. I was a little nicer than that but you get my meaning.

Not knowing what to do with himself Larry Lesson takes a look at my friend Butch (who has a big gray beard) and says, “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like a young Fidel Castro… a young good looking Fidel… and I mean that in a good way”. Butch was to say the least a little taken back, after all what do you say to someone who just told you you look like an oppressor? Well, never short on words Butchy looked at him and said, “I’ve never been to Cuba”. I chipped in with “He can’t be Fidel he’s Italian, he’s more the Mussolini type”. Butch said, “Yeah, and if I shave my beard and leave a little of my mustache I’d look just like Hitler”. This went on for about 3 holes until finally the guys partner said to Mister A nickels worth f free advise - “can you just shut up and play the game”.

So if you were going to noodle on something the next time you get paired up with someone you don’t know best to keep the chit chat polite and stay away from the lessons and tips unless asked.

So I started out with a par in an untraditional way, I got what they call a members bounce which none of us even saw pop back out of the woods. It left me about 180 short so I pulled the 5 wood and smacked it into a green side bunker took out my lob and put it about three inches from the cup my fellow golfers gave me the final stroke and then as they say it was all down hill from there.

You something - I play nearly everyday, that’s no joke. I play a ton and I will never get it figured out how one day you can play from the tips and shoot a 41 and the very next day you play from the whites and you shoot a 48. What the hell is that all about? I can figure out that I’m swinging stiff and not really finishing my swing but when I do I push it to the right - maddening!!!!

I do have to say that today was the first day that all three of us got to play together so that was nice, but the game wasn’t. Watcha gonna do? It won’t keep me from coming back out tomorrow or Saturday or Sunday or Monday or… well you get where I’m going. Until next time FORE!!!